Destressing Me Out

I need to destress. My blood pressure is out of control, despite my change in eating habits and I clench my fists in frustration while awake and grind my teeth into oblivion at night.

These are my ideas of how to combat this current state of mind:

• Punch problematic people in the face.
• Wear headphones with Connie Francis blaring in my ears at all times, in order to drown at the sounds and voices that make my eye twitch.
• Yoga

And after this, I'm at a lost. What to do, what to do.

Nothing in particular has happened in the last week or so. Nothing stands out in my mind as being good or bad, but I think between the fact I haven't had a quiet moment to myself in a long while, a moment with strangers or maybe the fact I'm stuck at a job that, while I like it, it isn't paying to keep things functioning and within my control has finally ate away through all the various alcohols and medicines and boyfriends and silverlining pushing I have used as a barrier all this time and I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it hard and it's making me angry.

Also, I know some real dumbass people and normally I don't have this hard a time dropping people out of my life. But when they are leeching off someone you DO like... that also makes me angry.

Not details necessary, I just wanted a reason to make a mosaic.

Oh, look, I updated my domain: ilikedginger.net

And at least the boyfriend is being supportive.

me: can you do me a huge favor tonight? and snuggle me really hard. I'm feeling so awful.

5:05 PM mr.cakes: sure, I am having an exceptionally frustrating day of my own

5:06 PM me: maybe we can release some of our frustrations together WINK WINK

mr.cakes: ...if you cant wink in real life then you can't wink on the internet

BLINK BLINK

me: :'(

mr.cakes: just like mormons can drinks beer

and so forth

5:07 PM does backflip

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Time for another list, as I try to keep my mind active:

• I am incredibly sleepy right now. I only got a few hours of sleep last night, because I couldn't sleep and then I went on a Wikipedia binge, reading about early 20th century "sewing circles". UGH. Once upon a time, I could do this. Not now. Work on little to no sleep that is, not lez out in sewing circles.
• Yesterday we watched Awakenings. One of my bigger fears is of going insane. It's bound to happen, I might be losing it.
• On the 4th, I rode on the back of Cake's motorcycle to Long Beach and drank beer and got a girl mad at me and apologized and hung out with more girls and etc etc. It was actually really uneventful.
• Yesterday night I gave Wile E Cyrus a bath. I gave him some Benadry, but it didn't help at all. The pet advice websites are liars. I couldn't even get Biggie to try it. He was so mad, hissing, scratching, biting, spitting, I didn't even want be near him, so no bath for him. Wiles is so soft now though and smells like coconuts. I'm gonna do the dogs tonight. Sometimes all the animals gather around a stare at me. We might have too many pets.
• Fights this weekend! I'm gonna get drunk in front of my boyfriend's family probably!
• I have major back pain lately. Is it because I'm old now?

Help me, Tiger. I don't know what to do.

Killer Condom is one of the best queer movies ever. I haven't seen Brokeback or Milk, but it has to rank up there.

The plot, from wiki:

Set in the seedy parts of New York City, Killer Condom follows gay detective Luigi Mackeroni (Samel), who has been hired to investigate a series of bizarre attacks at the Hotel Quickie in which their male guests have all had their penises mysteriously bitten off. While at the crime scene, he enlists the services of a beautiful young gigolo named Bill and invites him up to the crime room. Before the two men engage in sex, a carnivorous, living condom interrupts them and bites Mackeroni's testicle off.

Now on a personal vendetta, Mackeroni begins his lone quests to not only bring a stop to the rash of condom attacks, but also face his true feelings towards Bill the gigolo. Soon, the detective learns that the pernicious prophylactics are actually genetically-engineered creatures, part of a vast conspiracy of a religious cult bent on ridding the world of sexual deviants.

The video clip above is my favorite part of the movie, a transexual lipsynching to April Stevens' Teach Me Tiger.

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Earlier today, this week, whatever, I have been a bit paranoid and maybe a little bit of a hypochondriac. I've been getting bad bruises again for no reason and my body feels exhausted. I think it's because my roots are growing out. That's the obvious answer. I have neglected my hair and a mousy shade of light chestnut has creeped out of my scalp. Hopefully I will have time to take care of this tomorrow, because I don't think I will enjoy my 4th of July, whatever it may bring, in such poor health.

Mi piace, è bello, bello.

Some of the thoughts and occurrences rushing through my head, making it difficult to sleep tonight because my head WILL NOT SHUT OFF:

• How long to you have to kiss up to your cat after accidentally stepping on his tail?
• The new Firefox is an improvement, speed wise. I'm even using it instead of Chrome right now. I missed Greasemonkey, Foxytunes and FireFTP so bad.
• O Mio Babbino Caro makes everything so cartoonishly poignant, just like my dreams.
• I keep dreaming that people from my past are coming back and harming me, in ways. But in the dream, while the gunshots to the head and the shackles and entrapment against my will only seem to be hilarious, sad, somewhat minor annoyances. Until I wake up, all shaken and jittery.
• People are so dysfunctional. Sometimes I sit with my legs out and stare at them and really recognize what a large ape I am and it is almost comforting remembering what a simple mammmal I can really be.
• Why do I feel like I'm on the drugs right now? I'm not on anything. I think my brain is deteriorating. I'm gonna end up like Robert. The one that lives in San Bernardino. Not the one who associated with my alter-ego.
  
• I get headaches in my eyes and I think it's because of computers. I also have a red blotch on my right eye that never goes away. It's been there for probably a good 7 months or so. I also bet I have hairs wrapped around my eyes.
• I want to hear Ian Bavitz sing the Humpty Dance.
• I used to plug Zicam so hard to people. Maybe someone listened and lost their sense of smell.
• All Hail West Texas is such a good CD for night time.
• Employment, employment, employment.
  
• Do people still throw themselves off Ponte Vecchio?

---

Otherwise...

My birthday on Sunday was fine. At midnight I was in a girl's front yard, being loud and obnoxious and that was before the rum. I slept in until 11am when Patrick brought me a breakfast sandwich in bed and slept some more until 3. I lazed about until eventually we got dinner and watched Crank 2 at home and went out to the bar for appropriate loudness.

Presents received include anatomical prints of hands, a black widow, framed pictures of Josephine Baker and Django Reinhardt, several stories, a cookie jar, crab nachoss and some cake.

Boojiboo Flirty Apron GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Boojiboo Flirty Apron GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

I'm convinced that if I had an apron that covered my bust, as well as my nethers, I'd bake more often.

Laughlin' Out Loud

Laughlin, Laughlin... oh, where to start. This is actually a very fascinating city. It's sort of like Vegas, but more along the lines of a town full of Indian casinos. I mean this in a mostly good way. I actually enjoyed the slower pace and the offbeat characters and sleaze that you have to dig just a bit deeper to find, or in our case, bring it yourself. I also found it to be tribute band central, but unfortunately for us, they reserve that caliber of entertainment for the weekends.

Due to the massive quanities of alcohol I took in over the last few days, I can't really remember everything as linear or as detailed as I'd like. Basically:

• Saturday night - Cakes and I went to our friend Chris's house in Sun City for a little get together among friends. It was lovely and after watching a hot boy fight break out, we left around 2am to Patrick's dad's cabin with the dogs, for Fathers day.
• Sunday - We actually stayed at the cabin until about 8 in the evening, giving us a late start, seeing as how we were supposed to leave for Laughlin that night. After finding out that we could just leave the dog's with Patrick's brother, we felt silly that we didn't just bring our clothes and travel stuff with us. We ended up having to drive the two+ hours all the way back home, grab our stuff, and then drive back the two hours to Hemet, stopping in Corona to pick someone up, to meet up with our friends. Finally we all piled into our buddy Aaron's van and were on our way.
• Monday - The birthday girl, who the trip was actually for, turned 21 at midnight, right before we actually got on our way. I slept most of the way through California and woke up in Nevada. We ended up rolling into town at about 6:30 in the morning and all stood around while the boys tried to figure out why the room wasn't reserved like they thought. Soon we just got another room for the day, which was like $25 at the Edgewater anyway, and everyone passed out until the afternoon, at which point we walked down the riverwalk to the Riverside hotel for the prime rib Patrick's dad had recommended. It was effing amazing. I ate until I am pretty sure parts of my body actually gave in and ripped, because lord knows I was sore later. After that... I'm trying to remember, it was a long day. I think we napped some more and eventually the boys went off to play poker and Kristin and I thought it would be a good idea to walk all the way down to Harrahs (like twoish miles uphill). It was an awful idea, but the mucho comped drinks made it worth it. Oh, also, I lost tons of money on craps and blackjack. I have no idea what I'm gonna eat until payday.
• Tuesday - After many birthday shots and fun, we took a cab back to the Edgewater and had breakfast at Cocos and passed out in our rooms. Patrick and I woke up and checked out the outlet mall and got some shirts. In a drunken haze, I think I actually left mine in the hotel. See, this is the thing with me and Laughlin. I lost everything but weight. We came back, I got stoned in the room and that was when Matt decided to use his wheelchair to hold the elevator doors shut, so it wouldn't let us off. Instead it just kept going up and I was convinced I was going to die.
  
  After surviving that, we walked around the Riverside some more, eating bowling alley food and whatnot. Soon we all met up again and decided to go get jet skis. After an hour or so of bouncing around on the back of one of those major machines and getting beat up by sweet, sweet desert air and river water, we went back to the hotel and got ready for more adventure in the form of In N' Out and karaoke. But first! We blockaded our friend and his girlfriend in their own bathroom. It was funny and there are pictures and a video on Flickr and below.
  
  Anyway, so yes, we wandered and wandered and found where the karaoke was. That's when I got real drunk. The place was full of sweet old people and we were awful and loud. I actually got to swing dance with some old dude for the first time in years. Impressive, I know. I also sang Downtown by Petula Clark and dueted Islands In The Stream, but it was so smokey and awful all weekend I barely had a voice anymore and it was pretty horrible.
• Wednesday - We ended up getting even more wasted at a place called the Losers Lounge and watched the worst of the worst dance and harass the band and big middle aged girls, getting theirs. We ended up going back to our hotel with a bartender and mad scrambling to get our stuff together so we could leave. We ended up leaving around 6 in the morning and got home around 12. Poor Patrick had barely slept the whole time because he had to drive and went to work anyway. I was deathly tired and nauseous and stayed home sleeping pretty much the entire day. Now it's 4 in the morning, Thursday, technically and the internets seem to have not entirely halted in my absence.

The moral of all this is, Laughlin is a good place to take off to for a couple days, but next time I should leave some of my money at home.

What do I do with my mouth when I'm not talking?

Kiss bugs and drink copious amounts of beer.

Freedom Twitters In Iran

I didn't originally want to participate in what is happening on Twitter, because I was afraid my clueless ass would do more harm than anything else. After reading on it, I decided to send a couple tweets and keep track of the main hashtags involved. It's actually quite moving and I think Twitter has finally proven it's worth beyond advertising and seeing what Shaq is doing.

Additional information at Celisse's blog (ways you can help, etc), as well as many other sources available. Be careful what information you read and spread. I'm trying the best I can not to retweet, blog or otherwise share false information, but I understand it is very confusing.

Using Twitter like this makes me wonder how it could be used for other troubled areas. North Korea, I'm looking at you.

• Info regarding current events in Iran
• Iranian Government Attacked by Internet Forces
• Kooye Daneshgah (Tehran Uni Complex)
• The Big Picture

There's never a dull moment in Laughlin.

A few things:

• Rumor has it, we're going to Laughlin for a couple days next week. Tokyo doesn't look so exciting now, does it Marie?
• Friday night I stayed home and watched the X-files all night and on Saturday I escaped to the wilderness with Patrick, his brother and the dogs at their dad's cabin. I sort of love talking about it, it sounds so bougie. It was really nice and we hiked to a lake with the dogs and watched Dumb and Dumber and Alone In The Wilderness.
• My birthday is less than two weeks away. It will be a day of moping, much like when I turned 18 and had to relinquish my right to take advantage of being jailbait.

I have a real bad feeling, girls.

I backslid.

via Powerhouse Museum Collection

A couple nights ago, Tisha and I found our new favorite bar, the Iron Mule. It's a tiny little thing that only serves beer and tends to be a sausagefest. Not a problem, we enjoy talking to the comedians of the place.

Anywho, so we went on Wednesday night and then decided a repeat was needed last night. However, this time I spent more than the $9 for a pitcher and managed to not only waste a lot of money, but also made myself too headachey and tired to go to work, and in this, depriving myself of even more money. On the other hand, we did meet an interesting character that might be good to know. Hard to say if we really know anything yet though.

Well, regardless, I'm bummed. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time growing out of recklessness.

On another note, I should add that my partner in crime was Tisha and she's incredible. The hardest working person I know and by far my favorite person to hang out with.

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Listening to: Elvis Presley - Doin' The Best I Can
via FoxyTunes